Sheriff's Calls

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An Offbeat Look at Area Crime

Roughing the receiver

WEST BELLEVIEW DRIVE — Late on the night of Aug. 28, an anonymous caller tipped JCSO to a ruckus in progress. Although the crisis had passed by the time deputies arrived, they asked the homeowner if he knew why they’d been dispatched to his address. Without hesitation, the fellow told officers that his daughter and her no-account boyfriend pulled into the driveway by the dark of the moon, got out of the car and, as he watched from concealment, the boyfriend handed his daughter “some drugs.” Truth is, he couldn’t really see what he handed her, but knowing that miserable skunk it had to be drugs, sure enough. He confronted the pair, words were exchanged, and, fearing lest his daughter leave with the bum, he “tackled” her in the driveway. Since the boyfriend was long gone, and since the daughter gave an identical account of events — less the drugs — and declined to press assault charges against her dad, officers didn’t call a penalty on the play.


It stands for ‘Conspicuously Spurious Designation’

LITTLETON — The man who called JCSO dispatch on the evening of Aug. 30 sounded “frazzled.” He said he’d just received a call from a “California Sheriff’s Department” deputy who said they were following up on his 911 call and wanted to be sure he was OK. The man had made no such call, he told a Jefferson County sheriff’s deputy, and he thought the caller might actually have been either “a solicitor I may have made mad” or someone trying to intimidate him in response to an on-going fraud investigation he’s involved in. He wanted to report it, he said, because he was scheduled to meet with a district attorney the following week regarding the fraud case. Officers could not ascertain exactly who called him but could reasonably rule out the CSD.


‘Shirtless’ Joe makes rookie mistake

WEST BOWLES AVENUE — On the night of Sept. 1, a visibly nervous young fellow shuffled into a department store and tried on a pair of boots. Then he put them back in the box and tried to walk them out the door without paying. Alerted by his suspicious demeanor, security personnel watched the whole performance on surveillance monitors and headed him off before he could quit the premises. When a store gumshoe asked to see the boots, the shaken shoplifter handed them over, along with a Burlington Coat Factory bag containing two new shirts. Then he ran out. Then he ran back in and asked for the shirts back. The gumshoe said he could have the shirts just as soon as he anwered a few questions back in the security office. He ran out again, without the shirts. Since Burlington Coat Factory had no recent record of a two-shirt sale, it’s likely they were misappropriated merchandise as well. A deputy obtained a copy of the store’s footware-filching footage and toodled.


A round of shots, on the rocks

WEST MAPLEWOOD DRIVE — The woman who called JCSO on the afternoon of Aug. 27 was beginning to feel besieged. For about two months, she told deputies, she’s been frequently distracted by what sounds like Airsoft pellets whacking against the back wall of her home. Unable to find any spent ammunition in the yard, she concluded that marksmen unknown are using an Airsoft gun to shoot ice at her house and balmy temperatures dispose of the evidence. Because the homes closest to hers are either uninhabited during the day or occupied by people she considers friendlies, she believes the perps must reside at some distance and snipe at long range. In any case, she merely wanted her suspicions on record and asked that officers not grill the neighbors.