Sheriff's Calls

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The milkman cometh
— While traveling in distant parts on March 30, he was surprised to get a “ring alert” on his cell phone indicating that somebody pushed his front doorbell at 4:04 a.m. that morning. As it happened, the same system that notified him of the off-hours visit also sent him footage of the visitor, a solitary man wearing “rain gear” and carrying a flashlight who can be seen standing before the door for a short interval before disappearing back into the pre-dawn darkness. Concerned that the inconvenient caller may have had designs on the “UPS package” left on the front porch, he first called a neighbor who assured him that the parcel was still in place, and then called JCSO who assured him that they’d step up their patrols until he came home.

Night rider
— It was about 1:30 a.m. on March 22, and the green Honda Civic meandering south along Kipling Parkway looked like trouble. Plainly weaving within its lane and making frequent maneuvers outside of it, the Denver-registered vehicle contained a young man, a young woman and a mid-sized dog of indeterminate age, and it looked to the deputy’s eye like an alcohol-related accident waiting to happen. The officer fell in behind Denver, activating his emergency lights at about West Remington Place. Denver didn’t try to elude the officer, exactly, but didn’t stop, either, rather moving to the right as if inviting the deputy to go around. When the deputy didn’t go around, Denver waited until he was passing under C-470 and then “blacked-out” his vehicle, extinguishing his headlights while simultaneously pouring on the gas and rocketing southbound into Kipling’s northbound lanes. Not wanting to make an exceedingly dangerous situation worse, the officer deactivated his emergency lights and eased off, taking up a following station from which he could discreetly keep tabs on the fleeing Honda without encouraging even more reckless tactics. The deputy was glad to see Denver turn on West Ute Avenue, the only point of access to the Chatfield Bluffs neighborhood, and he quickly radioed for help putting a cork in that fortuitous bottle. Before additional units could arrived, however, Denver slipped back out of the bag and sprinted south on C-470 with the deputy in judicious pursuit. Douglas County authorities were alerted to the still-darkened traffic hazard screaming their way, and it’s to be hoped they were able to throw a sack on that Mile High menace.

Fishing for a felony
— She and her neighbor don’t get along so well. In fact, they don’t get along so well that she has a permanent protection order against Neighbor. But their un-neighborly relationship sank to a new low on March 23 when she called JCSO and asked deputies to arrest Neighbor for attempted doggy-cide. It seems she’d found “green pellets” scattered on her lawn, peculiar pills that she took to be “rat poison” and suspected were put there by Neighbor for the nefarious purpose of murdering her mutt. Deputies contacted Neighbor, who assured them he hadn’t scattered anything on her lawn and said he harbored no ill feelings toward her dog, the unfortunate circumstances of its ownership notwithstanding. Investigating officers quickly identified the perplexing pellets as Berkley Power Bait Crappie Nibbles and let Neighbor off the hook.